i'll back away so u can live better

that title was from a Korean song title it's so touching and sweet... who would really do that... my friend wont, he's holding on to this girl that he would never make out with... sigh, when will he learn, pain is going to get to him at the end. everyone see's love differently, but he just keeps on making bad choices, he thinks she's right for him but the truth is their different, she does not accept him, but as a friend shes fine, this is what happens most of the time when it's love at first sight... so that's why in my opinion i don't trust in that, i think nothing will last long that way but thats what happens all the time T___T. back to me, it's life and death, i ca't afford to lose even 1% in math, my mid term is worth 15% and it's this monday... ahhhhh!!! help, pray to god i wont fail it. see the teachers not try-n to kill me they want to kill me, their jabbing homework into my chest. all i can do right now is listen to music to get out stress and pray. i hope i don't look 2 years older then i should lol...this might not be the best blog but, at leas i can let out my stress and pain.

ALL MOST suicidal

today i feel like i want to share my feelings out. i feel so useless and helpless and this can be the reason why i like to help ppl, even if i can't help myself i can help ppl, which is a good thing.all my friend around me don't know one secret about me and i hide it away... they might wonder why i'm sooo stupid but that's just me.. they go on say'n how their not smart when they get A's in all subjects...which makes me feel so bad, i just want to cry out but i promised not to shed a tear in front of ppl.. i guess i don't have a choice but to make the most embarrassing decision just to save myself. i act like my life is nothing but truly it's not as good as they think, i pretend to be happy energetic, helpful, caring... but when they are out of sight it's dark, tough, sad.. it's all most suicidal. so you can't blame the j-pop and j-rock, to write emo and negative sad songs, they've been through a lot of pain and that shifts there thinking... sigh