where is home?

a loving mother and father
they are so nice and good to you...
they take the time to teach you...

but most of the time they are not home...
when i was little i hate it, felt so sad and cried about it
most days parents where not home
and that was when i turned 6
it was only me and my sister...

as i got a bit older my mother would not be home at night
i would watch tv or play by myself
i was scared of the dark
it felt boring
and when u wake up the next morning u see here there and then she leaves
soon i got so used to it, some days i will hate it but now i don't even want her at home
i want to be home alone staring at the computer and not knowing what to do

doesn't feel like home
no one to talk to
when u want to chat about it no one does
i do get that no one will get what I'm saying and they don't want to talk about it
but at the same time they talk about other stuffs, i don;t want to talk about
i just wanted one minute of attention just all for myself
doesn't seem like I'll have it

soon enough u will here me say that my parents are dead......................

what u think and what it is

my mind is colorful
my life is grey.

you say u make an ocean
but u really only made a puddle
i never seem to have done it be4
but really it was a flood

i helped you, i saved you
i can't ever seem to find an answer to my problems

u feel better and lighter
i feel more down and alone

i say a million words to u
u only say one to me

theres always a way out
but i can't find one for myself

your so happy
i hide it

your my friend so i will shut up
but sometimes u piss me off

you go first, i'll listen
it was always you first

keep silent
i want to burst it out

_______________________________

sometimes i wonder if anyone even get's what i am writing i think not. i wish someone understood me ): if someone does pleas reply. or maybe i don't even no what i am doing. maybe the walls don't even get me. maybe i'm not even human. then what am i?
where do i belong? where is the land that i can stand on? when will get back together and pull through all this? me AND my trashed life.........

365, how many days are you loved

365 days and 8 765.8 hours how many of those times do u feel that u were loved or cared for? or how many times do u feel down and sad. how many times have you thought of suiciding? maybe really little out of the 365 days and 8765 hours. u can't really tell if people cared about u or tried to help u, maybe they have but u just don't feel it. but if the truth is no one cared then i hope you never think of suiciding, it's a pain to feel that way, and that never means u are emo or u can screw up the rest of your life. if u think about it u could be here for a reason, find and seek for it. thinking about how to die is not that helpful why not think about happy positive things. happiness comes from inner self and not what people do for you and give you. no one els but you can give you the joy and successfulness in life. what u think and do is the main way of how you think. you don't have to do great things to be great or liked by others. little acts of kindness and standing up for another is one of the best ways. most of the time i don't find my school friends that caring or kind enough to give a hand but even so i help them in the best way i can, because i can't seem to find ways that i can help myself, i help others just to feel happy and successful in doing something good and positive. i hope that all the kind things i do for them they can feel and see that i am always there for them no matter what. if u feel like an idiot or crappy about your life, help other people and make them stand strong, at leas another life can be saved.

this is a song i really like that relates to this post, check the lyrics out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zahDidE78rw